Change: A Love Letter to the Journey

So here’s the thing:

I might be in my quarter-life crisis era or maybe it’s just a transition period of my life but the older I get, the more I realize how fast the speed of life truly is.

Let me explain,

I have changed EXPONENTIALLY since I was 19 years old (duh) and first began writing this blog. I’ve loved, I’ve lost, switched jobs a couple of times, moved in with my boyfriend, adopted a cat…you get it…change.

But what is so crazy about all that change is that I’ve been terrified for most of it. Until recently.

Let’s start with career change.

After I graduated college, I was terrified I wasn’t going to be able to find a job that could really elevate my career in the way I had always hoped for. Spoiler alert – I did end up finding a job two months after I graduated and it was my “dream job”… until it wasn’t. Then I went on the job search again and really thought I landed my dream job this time. I worked there for three years and yet again decided it was time to move on to the next dream which brought my career to New York City, a place where I KNEW my dream job existed.

And then it didn’t.

Though it took me a couple of years (and many bouts of burnout), I’ve now come to find that instead of chasing the “dream job”, I need to focus my energy on attracting a life that brings me down a path of actualizing my dreams. And for me, this started with changing my definition of success from accolades received to balance achieved. (sorry I couldn’t help but rhyme)

And listen, I’m STILL in this growth journey. I am still reassessing every day what balance looks like for me. However, I feel confident that moving forward I will intentionally allow myself to be more than just my career. To nurture my hobbies like I would my vegetable garden because I like poetry and watercolor painting and reading fantasy novels and drinking wine and scream-singing in my car with the windows down and salsa dancing and completing a crossword puzzle and I’ll be damned if I stifle my creativity and passions for a job. I AM DYNAMIC!

And you are too.

Now onto friendships…

When my friendships began to evolve, this was incredibly hard to navigate. I’m now at the age where many of my friends are getting married and they’re building lives with their partners. No longer are the days of walking across the hall to see your best friend or even hosting weekly movie nights in your bedroom… I am now literally planning coffee dates weeks in advance and even going so far as sending calendar invites to keep things organized.

And it seems that no one talks about the hills and valleys that you travel across as your friendships change. TikTok makes it seem like it’s so easy to plan extravagant girls’ trips or to be constantly hosting weekly themed dinner parties but in reality, finding time isn’t always that simple.

All that being said, I am grateful that I am now entering the age of friendships by choice instead of friendships by proximity. I’m actually looking forward (now more than ever) to expanding my friendships because we are choosing to stay close despite our distance or personal obligations.

So even as our life and our friends’ lives change, I’m encouraging myself (and you) to nurture those friendships in ways that are attainable. Send your friends love letters and become pen pals, start a virtual or IRL book club, try to lock down a monthly themed get-together and PLEASE PLEASE text your friends when you’re thinking of them.

Wrapping this up here with ~romantic relationship change~

So…I’m not an expert but IT SEEMS like this is going to be ever-evolving with each new life stage. I’ve been in a relationship with my partner for over three years and we have changed so much in that short time.

The craziest change for me has been the mindset shift from “me, myself, and I” to “US”. The commitment to parallel pathing your life with a person and having to compromise on everything is wild.

I’ve definitely started my fair share of arguments directly relating to this mindset shift because it’s hard. It’s overwhelming. AND I’M NEVER WRONG.

“Kidding”.

What has helped me most in navigating this change is reminding myself we’re on a journey to build the life we want. It doesn’t happen instantly but it does get clearer with every good day, bad day, and days in between. I am so grateful to have a partner who challenges me, openly communicates with me, and works alongside me every day to figure out what our destination could be.

If there is one piece of unsolicited advice you take from this blog post, let it be this:

Without change, we aren’t evolving and nothing stifles growth more than complacency.

Get uncomfy. Take risks. Use those challenges as fertilizer for your own growth. No one is more capable than you.

All my love,

Your Average Shrub